This is an original post written by Keisha. Thank you for listening to her story. Share your story.
I was so surprised to find StillLookPregnant.com this evening as I was actually googling on what are the appropriate clothes for my shape.
There was an hourglass shape, oval shape, diamond shape, apple shape and pear shape. But I cannot seem to find the… “I am 12 months post-partum after three kids over a 10 year period and my stomach looks like it is housing another child at 6 months gestation” shape.
Oddly enough, the average woman who cannot lose that baby belly does not fit into any category.
I seem to have lost all my breasts by way of breastfeeding but gained the biggest butt in the world; and still kept this absurd belly. It is rather frustrating when you are at work and people will not let you carry heavy items or look at your funny when you are on your 3rd coffee of the day.
Or the worst, when they just come out and ask, “Are you pregnant?”!! I am always mortified. It has been a year and I am still upset when people ask me.
But can I blame them… I seriously look 6 months pregnant at all times.
I think what some woman need to know from experience is that I had 3 boys. My son’s are ages 10, 3 and 1. After baby 1 and 2, my belly went right back into place; flat and pretty. I actually was in the military between baby 2 and 3 and completed basic training and AIT. I lost over 30 lbs and could do 40 push up’s in 2 minutes and run a mile in a breeze. My body was in the best condition of my life!
However, between baby 2 and 3, there was not enough time for my abdominal muscles to heal. So with baby 3, I only gained 20 lbs, but my stomach basically remains the same way it did after I had him. I have seen 3 doctors and they all say, my only option is plastic surgery. With 3 kids, a husband, house and bills… plastic surgery is not an option.
So what is your option for women who still look pregnant and cannot afford the risky plastic surgery to repair the damage of their beautiful births?
Just try to find ways to love it.
I have not gotten to this point but I know it will come.
This summer I went on the beach in a two piece bikini with my kids and I did not feel ashamed at all. So I know I am making strides. Ironically, the more weight I lose, the more my stomach protrudes… so maybe being a little overweight is more aesthetically pleasing for me.
I think all in all… we need to be more supportive as woman.
I know I am not the only 28 year old woman of 3 kids who looks this way. I may feel that way when I cannot find anything to wear to work or feel unattractive in that sexy red dress that used to look oh so fab. But we have to find ways to overlook the pre-defined vision of perfection. That hourglass, symmetrical beauty. We are not perfect and I may be close (LOL)
We all need work on learning to love ourselves – especially for our kids.
Keisha is 28 years old, married, and the mother of three AWESOME son’s ages 10, 3, and 1. She lives in Atlanta, GA, with her family and she works for a hospital.
{ 11 comments }
I am so glad that I came accross this article! It is pretty much my story. I also am 28 and have three boys aged 3,6, and 9. Within a week of having my first son I was smaller then my pre-pregnancy weight, with baby 2 it took about 3 months and I looked great but with baby number 3 I only gained 4lbs (he weighed 7’6) but I cannot get my shape back! No matter how much I work out or watch what I eat I cannot lose my “baby” belly! My youngest is going to be 4 and I am considering surgery but with a family of 5 that is a major expense! I am glad that you are gaining your confidence back and I hope that one day I can feel confident enought to wear a bikini again!
I wish more people would post about this. I am 35 now, but had my first child at 29. I wasn’t exactly thin but lost a significant amount of weight after and felt pretty good. When our daughter turned 2 we decided to try for a boy. Unexpectedly, we got pregnant within 2 months and we got our wish, a healthy baby boy. Because of my age and our finances I was about 99% sure that we were a complete family of four so we used birth control. About a month before my son’s first birthday we found out we were pregnant again, despite the use of birth control. I had not lost much of the baby weight from my son and I was in utter shock. I only gained about 15 lbs. with my third pregnancy and my daughter weighed 7 lbs 13 ounces but I still cannot lose the extra weight and I still look like I am 6 to 7 months pregnant. It did not help that at 3 wks we discovered she was having seizures and at 4 months she had brain surgery. She was diagnosed after that with the genetic condition, Tuberous Sclerosis. We lover her so much and she has been such a beautiful addition to our family. I am now a stay at home mom. Being a mom of a 6 yr old, 3 yr old, and 2 yr is tough at times. I put myself at the bottom of the list most days. I wish that I could at least get my body back. I would love to have the extra energy and confidence again. I feel like I am going to look pregnant forever. I have to say that my husband is very supportive and loves my body in any form but I have a hard time feeling attractive now. Believe me when I say that most people are willing to baby sit 1 or maybe 2 children, but not 3 young children together. Putting our youngest in daycare is not an option due to the fact that we can’t afford it and that any illness she gets makes her seizures worse.
I too have considered surgery but it is expensive and I would not have enough help to be able to recover properly. I would love to read more success stories out there about how other women have gotten back to being close to their normal shape. As for those people who ask us about when we are due, I think it is absolute ignorance. People should not ask questions like that unless they know for a fact that the person is pregnant.
Thank you for this post! I recently found out that I am pregnant again & I am more excited to be able to say “Yes! I AM pregnant!” when people ask then I am about the actual baby, lol. Ok, that is not entirely true but it does make me less insecure about having this big ol gut- although I do fib a little on how far along I am to strangers.
The really crappy thing about this issue (before I found out I am pregnant) is not being proportioned. I have this itty bitty body. My size 3 pants fit fine around my butt & legs but I need a belly band & maternity shirts from the hips up. I was really starting to think this was just me & freaking out about when this pregnancy is over & I am back to just looking that way. So thank you for being so candid & open in your struggle. It’s nice to know others can relate. And kudos to you for sporting the 2 piece. You’re my hero! 
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I also have this problem, i have a 6yr old girl (7lb 15) and 2 boys aidan 5 in august (8lb8) and ashley just turned 18mths (10lb2) i knew with my first two being so close together losing the belly was gonna be hard but 6mths b4 i fell with my last son i was comfortable with my tummy not quiet enough for bikinis due to extremly bad stretch marks but enough to wear tight clothes around that area not to feel like people were thinking i was pregnant. I am due to get married and when i tried the dress on i orignally was a bit self consious as felt had a slight baby belly but didnt think anything of it as had over a yr to get rid of it, only problem is i have lost weight (over 2st) since then and was well chuffed but in doing so my belly has seemed togotbigger and my wedding dress now looks worse on me andemphasises my belly more than it did when my last born was only 8mths old. Plastic surgery is a no go due to money and also knife phobias and horror stories heard and also dont want to beput in that category of lastic surgery for self image!! But not only my wedding dress i am finding it hard to find clothes that i feel comfortable in that dont enphasis my belly even more so recently taken to wearing my padtners tracksuits and jumpers as the baggier the better. Any help and advice is much needed i have 46 days til my wedding and also turning 30 this yyear.
Great article. I can totally relate. I have 5 kuds. 12, 10, 4, 3, and 11 months. My body bounced back with the first 4 within months. But something happened with the last one. I am 5’2″ and MAYBE 110 lbs. Thin. But this belly will NOT go away. It seems like the muscles just won’t tighten back up. It’s frustrating, embarrising, and completely confidence crushing. I hope one day I can learn to love this body…. but it’s gonna take some time.
So glad im not the only person, but i had my son at 15 years old i am 21 now. I only had one kid and i neber lost weight after he came out. I look like im about to pop and icant het rid of this belly! Ive tried diets and working out. I cant wear nice clothes. I wish i could i hate looking pregnant. I cant even het a job.
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Hi, I know how you all feel. I had my last (5th child) in October 2013. I have never weighed over 105lbs unless I was pregnant and after having the first 4 kids I went right back to my regular size with no problem. After having my 5th I started to go back down in size and had lost a lot of the pregnancy weight. Then out of the blue in April I started to look pregnant and even felt it. So in May I felt and looked pregnant and took a home pregnancy test and it was positive then a few weeks later went to the doctor and she did blood test and said it was negative. I said ok and then in June had a really heavy period so all was okay there but I still look like i’m 5 months pregnant and can’t get rid of the weight. I have tried all the exercise programs the doctors told me to do and bought a bowflex and that don’t even work. I even bought a girdle to try and wear and that don’t even hide my belly either. I am so uncomfortable with people staring all the time and then I get the ones that ask when is the next 1 due?? How do I feel better about myself??
I resonate with this story, especially the part about, the more weight lost, the more protruding the stomach seems to be. However, is the solution simply to ACCEPT this state of being???? I have lost 25 pounds, and this half-a-basket-ball-belly will not go away but seems to be screaming ‘PREGNANT’ all the more, because I seem slim, so it is the natural conclusion that I am pregnant, while when I was chunkier all over, it seemed less ‘pregnant’ and just part of the obesity issue.
So, having scoured the internet, the conclusion is – accept it, or tummy tuck? Sigh!
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